A woman has said she is struggling to forgive her husband after discovering he had been exchanging flirty text messages with a colleague – which she classes as cheating.
While using his phone with his permission to sort out something for their child, a message popped up on the screen which left her in “complete shock”.
The couple had been going through a difficult period and he admitted to having been flirty with the another woman at work but insisted it never went further than that.
The mum said the messages were not sexual but she “doesn’t know what went on at work”, and her husband had previously mentioned the colleague in question had told him sob stories about being cheated on which “rang alarm bells”.
Her husband said he regretted it but admitted it had been nice to get attention off someone during a time the two were barely on speaking terms.
“I class this as cheating, he doesn’t,” she said on Mumsnet. “What would you class it as? I constantly think how long or how far would it have gone if I never seen the messages. I wasn’t even snooping.
“I have tried to forgive and forget but it’s all resurfaced and I think about it constantly again. I really love him and am trying anything to stay because I do want to but it’s so hard.”
Opinion was split when she turned to others for advice, with one arguing: “I wouldn’t say it’s cheating. It’s inappropriate but I wouldn’t end a marriage over mild flirting.”
But another issued a warning, writing: “It’s cheating or a precursor to it. So when you go through a difficult time in the future that’s what he’ll do, his default is not to repair the relationship with you it’s to get his kicks elsewhere.”
A second asked: “Would he be happy with you messaging another man like that then? Of course not. It’s definitely cheating. Are you sure you want to stay with him?”